I am Not Okay…


My dear friends,

I am so sorry that I have been absent without explanation. I feel badly about that. I do care deeply for each of you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

The past month has been incredibly difficult for me. I’m not even sure why. There has been no big catastrophe in my life. No logical reason for this downward spiral.

But I have entertained the lies of the evil one. And that has brought devastation into my life. Shame, self-loathing and despair have wormed their way into my heart, draining me of life, leaving me longing for eternity in an unhealthy way.

The words of John 10:10 are vividly real in the midst of it all, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy”.

And yet, dear ones, there is a second part to that same verse. A beautiful promise. Jesus has declared His truth, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

Please pray for me. That I would turn to Christ as my strength in the heat of the battle. That “no weapon forged against [me] will prevail” (Isaiah 54:17). And that God would take that which the enemy purposed for evil, and redeem it for good and for His glory.

Please forgive me if I am not as active here as I would like to be. I will try to at least check in and share with you how I am doing.

Blessings and hugs,



18 thoughts on “I am Not Okay…

    • Dearest Michelle,

      I thank the Lord for you, my friend. I know that you pray for me and that means more than words could ever express. I also know that you understand, and that, dear one, is truly a gift.

      Love you,

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Dearest Kamea, please don’t worry about needing some necessary time out, just save your strength for recovery from this dark pit you’ve fallen into. I feel for you because SAD affects me badly in this season and it’s a continual fight to surrender to the Light and not the all-enveloping darkness without and within. Maybe you suffer similarly? Whatever may be holding your sweet soul captive right now, it is only temporary.
    And you are far from alone. God sits in darkness, dust and ashes with us, holding us hard. He won’t let you fall. You will be surrounded by angels and wrapped round with prayer. Thinking of and praying for you as you wait to feel better. Remember that this too shall pass and you WILL see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Keep the flame of hope alive in your heart, my friend – be it but a tiny candle-wick, He will not snuff it out. Gentle hugs and love to you. Xx ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tears, sweet Joy. Your words are so beautiful and filled with truth, as always. What a wonderful light you are in this world which can be so dark and oppressive at times. I am so blessed to be able to call you friend.

      May God richly bless you and carry you in His loving arms,

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh how wonderful to hear from you, Kamea! I’m delighted that you feel able to return and respond to the messages here. You have been sorely missed, my friend. I’m still praying you will find all the soul ease, rest and peace you need as you lean closer to our Saviour. I hope and pray you will soon be able to write again. Please feel free to message me any time if you need to. I am so blessed to call you friend too, and to carry your needs to God in prayer. Lots of love and gentle hugs! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • Awww, you are so sweet! It is a step in the right direction to be able to check in here and return messages. Seems like such a small and simple thing, but when life seems overwhelming even the smallest task can be so difficult. I appreciate your ongoing prayers and your love. Have a most blessed day, dear one!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Father God,
    I don’t think it was an accident that you brought Kamea to mind today. Please wrap your arms of love tight around Kamea and help her to know and believe You are with her and for her….You have carried her and you will continue to carry and sustain her (1 Cor. 1: 7-8)….Strengthen and encourage her heart…Let her know how beloved she is in your eyes. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Sweet Dolly,

      Just this – thank you for your obedience to your Father’s gentle prompting to share such beautiful words of blessing and encouragement. I am so thankful for you.

      Much love,


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